Winners and Losers
by Doreen Tracy
Summary: Sam comes home and things aren't quite the way he hoped with Donna. Minor adult theme.


Al:

"Where is he?" I demanded. Donna just looked down at the floor.

"I don't know." Her voice was half defiant, half upset. When her head came up her eyes were very bright. "I'm divorcing him, AI."

"Christ." I couldn't look at her any more and tried to walk away.

"You know why, AI. He expects too much, from both of us." Her hand wrapped around my

arm and stopped me cold. I could barely stand her touch anymore. "Al? You understand, don't you?"

"I only know that I hid this from him too long," I replied, not turning to meet her gaze.

"Somewhere in his Swiss Cheesed head he thought he'd return to a happy home, with a faithful wife and a best friend and..."

"Al, I always knew this would happen." She released me. "I'm leaving tomorrow night."

"And you have no idea where Sam is?"

"None. He was at the house this morning and..." I could hear the shrug in her voice, as if she didn't care anymore. "And then he stormed out when I said I was leaving him."

I wanted to scream at the woman that she deserved as good as she got from Sam. Instead I left her there in the hall, entered the elevator to the lower floors and snapped out, "Control." It was the only place I knew of to look for him.

Would he listen to me? Try to understand this before he did something stupid? I kept thinking back to when he changed history and Donna appeared at the Project when I came through the I.C. door. Smiling, she was, with this breezy attitude. Little did she know what it cost her husband to have her as his wife and how he was paying for it now.

Control was quiet. Should be since Sam came home. I assure you, I practically tore that Accelerator apart piece by piece that first night. Would have celebrated the fact with Sam but he was too overwhelmed with his wife in his arms, the crew, the doctors...! hardly had a chance with him before it all fell apart.

"Sam!" I went to the control panel and assured myself that things were in fact powered

down. "Sam, dammit!" "What do you want?"

I turned to face the man that had spoke. He was sitting on the floor, his hair and clothing terribly disheveled. It looked as if he hadn't eaten or bathed in three days, four hours and fifteen minutes. The Quantum Clock ticked off the time not far above him.

"I came down here to ask dumb questions," I said, going to him. He didn't seem to care

when I sat down across from him. "Are you okay? Do you need something?"

"No. No." He half-laughed. "You can leave, Al."

"There's nothing down here, kid. No food, not even a working water fountain. You're damned lucky the elevator worked."

"When are they turning it off?"

"Tomorrow morning, Sam."

"Fine. Leave."

"Sam, this isn't..."

His head lifted and I could see his eyes. They looked like two tom holes. Let me add 'slept' to the things he hadn't done lately. "Can I ask you one question?"

"Ask away," I said, knowing full well what the question would be. "How long has this been going on?"

I couldn't lie and had already decided that I wouldn't should the subject come up. "About a year."

"And you didn't bother to tell me." "The rules..."

"The rules are wrong, were wrong. Because of me breaking the damned rules I'm totally destroyed here, Al. Totally."

"Sam, you're not totally..."

"Of all the people in this world I trusted you, Al. I trusted _you_. And you betrayed me."

The room sunk in silence. I could hear the metal pinging as it did, the whir of a quiet motor somewhere, keeping the place cool or warm, depending. "I only did what I thought I had to. If you had asked me directly I suppose I would have answered you."

"Truthfully?"

"With as much truth as could be said without totally destroying you." I reached over and took one of his hands and wrapped my hand around his wrist. His pulse was thready.

"I know what you're doing and if I felt much like fighting you, I would." His voice had plenty of fight. "I almost hate you right now."

"I saw Donna."

"And she's leaving me, so..." He jerked his hand away from me. "Finally the Beckett's have a generation with two divorces. My, my. If my mother was alive..." He tilted his head back against the wall. It hit with a hard metallic rap.

We'd told him the news about his mother that first night. The same night he'd found out other things that had led him to this. She'd died six months ago. He'd taken the news badly, asked if he could just leave. And then..."

"Sam...I'm not leaving you."

Tears were coursing down his cheeks. "I never dreamed it would happen like this," he whispered.

"Neither did I, Sam. Honest."

"I thought we'd have children," he said. "She said the same, or she used to. When I came home, she said, we'd have kids and maybe buy the property and have a farm." "I can't see you as a cow jockey, Sam."

"You think you know everything."

"Sometimes I do." There was a lot I knew that Sam didn't. That he was my best friend, that I felt more for him than I did for any of my wives, or Tina or anyone. That I hated that woman upside as much as I'd once cared about her. "I wish I'd never given Tom access to the project."

"Why did you have to?"

"He had a contract with the government, Sam. I was ordered to do it. He's your brother, dammit. What was I supposed to do? They wanted him _to _consult about the security."

"He and his company, all that money..." Sam stared sullenly at the floor. "If he hadn't gotten access I suppose it would have happened anyway. That it was destined."

"God. Everything is fucking destined for you."

He wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand and then I heard him gulp back a sob. Before he could move from me I had him in my arms and hugging the crud outta him. He struggled a little at first and then I felt his bony arms come around me and he started out and out sobbing. He hadn't cried this hard when Donna had left him at the altar.

I cried with him, the emotions pouring out of his fragile body like sweat. By and by he eased down a little and we separated just enough so I could see his face. His eyes weren't as dark, thank God. Maybe the release was what he had needed.

"Okay? You ready to start thinking again?" He nodded. "Okay, first off, don't think about getting her back. Tom is already making plans to leave and Donna as much as her duds packed." Another nod. He seemed totally drained of any feeling at all. "You have your life back, kid. It's not what you expected. I think that Donna and Tom didn't expect to fall in love, either, but it happened."

"They do love each other?"

"As much as two people can without broadcasting it to the world."

"They kept it secret? How did you know?"

I took a deep breath. "Pretty much the way you did, Sam."

"Donna went home while the med unit was looking me over. Said she was going to get things ready for a 'real homecoming'. It was right after you told me about...Mom." His eyes brightened at that and I was thankful that he reached out and took my hand for support. "Remember that I insisted that I drive to the house?"

"Yeah. Pretty insistent."

"I walked in and she and Tom were soul...kissing." His head slumped at that. "Tom was so calm about it all, Donna was upset but pretty cool. I was in shock at first and then...I went for my brother's throat."

"You didn't kill him."

"No. How could I?"

"We've been looking for you for a long time. I've been down here three times."

"I know a few hiding places, Al."

"Maybe you wanted to be found." Sam smiled softly at that.

"By you." Sam turned my hand over and stroked the palm with his thumb. It was a habit he'd had years ago when things had bothered him. For some odd reason I'd allowed it even though I wasn't crazy about being touched. Sam's touch... I needed it so badly.

"I found you. Now what?"

Sam blinked at me and leaned forward. Before I could move a muscle, he was kissing me. It was good as kisses go, soft, warm and those soft lips moving sweet against mine. Goddamn I wasn't gonna think about this. It was too perfect.

We parted, barely. Sam's body was shaking from emotion and I knew weariness. He looked at me, smiled and said, "Take me home, Al."

"Home?"

"Your home." He practically collapsed against me. "Our home. Just get me out ofhere."

Sam:

Al made sure no one saw us leave. If they'd seen me, he explained, the docs would've made me stay put. "I'll call Beeks when we get to my place, not before."

I think I passed out in the car and woke up when Al was trying to get me in his condo and unlocking the door at the same time. I managed to stand on my own and stumbled my way to a soft surface and fell there.

Al's hand came down on my back, rubbing as he spoke to someone on the phone. Beeks, I sort of figured, like he'd said.

"There's a lot of folks worried about you," he said as he set the phone down. "Your brother, and Donna, too."

That made me sit up. "Can I call them?" I said. I felt like doing it now. My head seemed clearer-that kiss had helped.

I did call Donna's cellular and we had a talk. A sane, thought provoking talk. She didn't want alimony, she didn't want the house, she just wanted my brother. And a divorce. She was angry and perhaps now I could understand that what I'd done by stepping into that Accelerator had been desertion. I even spoke a little to Tom and left his doors open to see me sometime-someday. Not now, not when things hurt so much.

Setting the phone down I almost laid back down before AI had me in his arms. "I made some canned soup," he said, hugging me. I didn't remember AI being this physical. It was welcomed, believe me. "You have to eat, and then a shower."

I ate the soup. It wasn't bad and AI took the spoon away from me and fed me when I really started shaking. "The docs say that with the sleep deprivation on the Leaps and what you've been through emotionally you'll be shaky for a while."

"What about that kiss, AI?" I took the last teaspoonful of soup and met his eyes. "Well?"

"You want a shower?"

God, he was worried! Maybe he thought I had been taken advantage of. He couldn't be more wrong. "Only if you take it with me," I said. He nearly dropped the bowl.

And we lived happily ever after.

THE END


End file.
